Q: Stories about people with depression seem to pop up everywhere today: in print media, on the web, and on morning talk shows. Give us a working definition of depression, and tell us how it is different from just having the blues once in a while. Fr. Tom: Life is filled with many challenges and opportunities that create normal emotional ups and downs, sometimes referred to as “having the blues.” But when a person finds herself stuck in the “down” times for a long duration, she may be in the ... [Read more]
Come Home
A native Seattleite and New York City transplant from 1997-2007, I was three months into a new job in Midtown Manhattan as a publicist to a classical music producer and conductor on 911. As I emerged from the subway platform that morning, silvery plumes of smoke billowed manically above in the clear blue sky. But in classic work-mode fashion, I paid little attention; I was too preoccupied with getting ready for the busy concert season ahead in Carnegie Hall. When I reached my office, I ... [Read more]
Listening: Face to Face and Heart to Heart
A key element in the success of any relationship is the ability to listen. Throughout our many years of marriage, raising a family, and interacting with other couples and families, we have seen a variety of listening styles that impact the ways in which couples and spouses relate to one another. These behaviors stem more from the needs of the listener than those of the speaker. Common listening behaviors Let me fix this: These kinds of listeners believe it is their duty to solve everyone’s ... [Read more]
Addictions Rob Us of Life
“Addiction" might be the best word to help explain the lost, empty and isolated feelings that has deeply infected our culture. The deception of addiction makes us cling to what the world proclaims as vital and necessary for self-fulfillment. Obey your thirst! Do whatever makes you feel good! I am number one! In 2011, Carl’s Jr., a U.S.-based fast-food restaurant chain, turned to sexy women as the focal point in an advertisement campaign claiming: “We believe in putting hot models in our ... [Read more]
Self-control in Difficult Straits and the Transformational Power of Prayer
In Andrew A. Lubusko’s 2006 dissertation on self-control and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, he notes that fatigue, emotional stress, and cognitive overload are primary factors in self-control failure. When we are tired, we become less aware of ourselves and what we are doing. When we are anxious, we are too worried about the future to be concerned with controlling ourselves in the present. When we are depressed, we are often so wrapped up in our past failures that present goals, such ... [Read more]
Beyond Ethnicity: The Role of Emotional Culture on Family Dynamics
Our daughter Olivia was five and our son Petros was a newborn when we saw the now legendary movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, starring Nia Vardalos for the first time in 2002. Though many regard it as a comedy, we perceive it more of a documentary—a movie that was plenty hilarious, a bit haunting and something we as Greek Americans can be proud of and at the same time—humbled. My wife, Kim, and I find it ironic and timely that the main character’s (Toula) baby girl in the stroller in the ... [Read more]
Strapped In: How to Enjoy the Ride and Trust the Divine Driver
We’ve all seen it happen in the grocery store parking lot. The back door of the minivan is open and a mom is leaning in, battling her toddler in an attempt to get her into a car seat. The little girl is too young to do it herself, and she doesn’t have the capacity to understand that it’s for her own good. So she balks and cries and carries on, stiffening herself into a board that will not bend to sit and be buckled in to safety. There are times when a child will settle down and fall asleep ... [Read more]
When a Life Decision Feels Like Walking on Water
Do you know the story of St. Peter when he sees Jesus walking on the stormy Sea of Galilee? St. Peter boldly asks if he can walk to Him on the waves. The rest of the disciples are all sitting in the boat rather content to stay there and wait for Jesus to come to them. But St. Peter is an exuberant soul. He is courageous and willing to take a chance. He asks Jesus if he could walk toward him on the waves. And Jesus allows this with His hand outstretched toward St. Peter. If you are familiar with ... [Read more]
“Let Them Come Unto Us”: Rearing Children Within an Eastern Orthodox Marriage Tradition
The Orthodox marriage rite mentions the hope for offspring several times and asks that the couple “be made glad with the sight of sons and daughters.” The marriage rite is even jokingly referred to as the “Orthodox fertility rite.” Case in point: My non-Orthodox friends who attended my wedding some twenty years ago were taken aback by the many references to procreation. But there’s a reason for these references—the Church’s deep love for the human person and the sacredness it places on all ... [Read more]
A Family Guide to the College Transition
Adolescents transitioning into college face a unique set of challenges. While this new adventure often brings a sense of autonomy and perhaps even invincibility, many young adults also experience unspoken feelings of self-doubt and fear. Having completed high school, many students might feel overwhelmed by questions from parents, teachers and peers alike on what they hope to do with their life now that high school is behind them. As they walk on stage, diploma in hand, even the most prepared ... [Read more]
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